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The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah…
I can’t stop hearing this song in my head as I lean over to smash another ant crawling across the kitchen floor. The house has been taken over by what looks to be a colony of ants. One of the lovely aspects of living in a log house. The other night I woke to one crawling on me in bed!
We have buttoned up the kitchen—never leaving food out, taking the trash out regularly, having sprayed the perimeter of the house, and on and on and on.
Remember when you were a kid and you loved insects? Did you ever build an ant farm? If you are interested here are the instructions:
• Poke some holes in the lid of a large jar (this is to allow them to breathe).
• Place a smaller jar inside the large jar upside down.
• Fill the space between the jars with dirt. Leave one or two inches at the top.
• Time to find your ants! Come to my house.
• Put the ants into your ant farm. Watch nature at work. Thank me later.
The other day I was in the grocery store in the produce section. The grocery store is where you can hear the locals discussing current events—which most of the time is the current weather. Which is usually either too much snow, too cold, or too hot. These days it is too much rain. Two years ago, I was writing about the awful drought we had. Is there not a happy medium?
We sure have had some weird weather phenomena lately. There was that awful hailstorm back in June. And then I was on Lake Vermilion a couple of weeks ago sitting out on the deck when we looked up and spied a water spout out on the lake. It looked like a tornado! My sons-in-law and boyfriend were out on the lake in the boat near it! It was very cool to witness it.
But these days the locals are not in the grocery store talking about the weather. They are talking about the bugs—specifically about how the bugs have ruined our summer.
I can usually go with the flow when it comes to bugs—even here in the land of 10,000 mosquitos. I grew up knowing what it is like to accidentally swallow a bug, get a bug up your nose, in your eye, or in your ear. You know what I am talking about. I know what it is liketo spend a night wide awake listening to them buzzing your head only to disappear when you turn on the light. Bugs are a normal part of a Minnesotan’s life. It is nothing new.
This though, is a whole other level. Summer of 2024 in northern Minnesota is like hell on earth when it comes to the bugs. It is the only time in my life I have almost succumbed to buying a bug net suit. I am very close. I just keep hoping it gets better before I take that leap.
So meanwhile, I sit here and scratch and scratch the ugly bumps and swollen bites that dot the surface of my skin. I slather Benadryl cream on them to try and stop the itch. I mark an X on the top of the bump with my fingernail – I swear it works and I am not sure who taught me that. I think all Minnesota kids learned that trick.
I still go out on occasion and sit—no stand near the bonfire dressed for war. I have long pants, long sleeves, socks, and hood tied around my neck even when it is hot and humid. I am determined to say I had bonfires this summer. I spray bug spray on my skin and on my clothes. I have thrown all caution to the wind. I NEVER wear bug spray. I am convinced it is going to poison me. But, at this point I no longer care, because I have lost so much blood I may die anyways.
I ordered a bug net to sleep in for the camper because I can’t figure out how the little monsters are getting in. I have fixed screens, plugged cracks, and spent hours trying to figure out the mystery. The ceiling over the bed and the walls that surround me in there are splattered with blood—my blood. It looks like a war zone.
It is a game now to count how many mosquitos I can squish in my hand or on the wall before bed. I can’t donate blood because I have donated most of it to the mosquitos. We also dug out the old bug zappers from the garage—straight from the 1980s. We hung them outside the camper. They light up the night and they keep me up with their obnoxious, loud, zap, zap, zap. I almost don’t mind, because I feel a sick satisfaction every time, I hear one frying.
Then there are the sand flies. They are just as bad.
When I feel like complaining I complain to everyone how we are stuck inside so much during the winter, that there is no way I am going to stay inside in the summer because of the bugs. So, I have invested in another screen tent. One that just magically pops open by itself. It is so easy. It is my bug-free fortress that I escape to when I need a break from the battle.
Did I mention the black flies? You know, the ones that bite? They have tried to keep me from fishing. If you get too close to shore—watch out! If you are on a big lake and drive fast you have a chance of losing them. They like to cling to the side of the boat for dear life. You have to go and knock them off into the wind. Bye! Bye!
One night in the boat I was so disgusted as they bit my legs and ankles, that I put my legs into the arms of my extra sweatshirt to try to escape their wrath. Desperate times call for desperate measures. You have to work with what you have. I hear Vicks VapoRub works for them. I guess I need to add it to my boat bag.
The flies also tried to ruin a day of floating in the bay. Once again, I was not giving up. I was lying on my float with a towel over my legs to protect me and had a fly swatter at my side. The sad thing is I spent more time swatting flies than sipping my drink or reading my book. Eventually I did give up even though I was armed.
I know I sound like an insect hater. I’m really not. I am infatuated with luna moths, which I just saw while on vacation. But luna moths don’t take a piece of me when they come to visit. Too bad there is not a giant infestation of luna moths and lightening bugs. I would be all for that.
As for the rest of the summer—may the force be with us.
Jody Rae lives in Ely. She spends most of her time on the water or in the woods, where she is always planning her next adventures, both near and far.
A luna moth. According to wikipedia.com, luna moths are not rare, but are rarely seen due to their very brief adult lives and nocturnal flying time. Submitted photo.
