Welcome to a new edition of Ange’s letters, I cover a bunch of topics here and I am super excited that you have decided to stop. Happy reading!
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I want to tackle a rather sensitive subject that has been on my heart for quite a bit and it is about healing our childhood wounds and feeding our inner child to become better entrepreneurs and better humans in general.
Most of us can recall our most memorable and creative times in our childhood, but adulting involves doing away with childish thinking and behavior, right?
Likewise, we ascribe to this pragmatic way of life and view creativity as something that we do on the side because, for the most part, it doesn’t pay the bills.
I would like to bust a myth right here right now, there is nothing worthwhile that you have done in your life that didn’t require some form of creativity.
Everyone is creative, I know some industries/sectors are deemed more creative than others but I believe accountants to be the most creative, I have never been able to balance them books on my own whether it was in a financial accounting class or my business.
That is also a reputation that most of us creators have, that we are really bad at math but, don’t quote me.
So I say this to say that the only way to truly be authentic in our creative expression is by summoning our inner child.
The unfortunate reality for most of us though, is that we have encountered a lot of damaging experiences that have taken away our innocence or our emotional safety, and our ability to think for ourselves.
Your inner child is essentially the emotional and psychological aspects of your childhood that influence the way you think, feel, and see yourself.
It is more or less a metaphorical representation of your innocence, vulnerability, curiosity, and creative essence.
This is associated with early life experiences that shape you as a person and how you show in the world.
These include experiences with your parents, your extended family, your teachers, your peers, and various life experiences that you grew up in.
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We thrive in communities so we all grow up with an innate desire to please and for the most part when that desire isn’t met with a positive response we all spiral into dysfunctional patterns trying to earn the approval that might never come. I feel like the advent of social media and the attention economy has made it worse.
I have personally been on this soul-healing journey and I have been building a self-awareness system that has helped me identify my blind spots and address my dysfunctional behavior.
I have shared inone of my posts on my bloghow starting my dream business in 2016 had me into a whole existential crisis because it brought a lot of insecurities to the surface and the unhealed part of me.
While I thought that my dream of becoming a beauty entrepreneur had finally come true, I also realized that there was an underlying desire to prove to the world that I was smart and worthy.
I was chasing a high, which had left me wondering if that was all there was to life and if there was clearly more to the chasing that I hadn’t realized but that is just life rearing its ugly face sometimes.
In an industry where softness and femininity are celebrated, in a lot of ways, I had a rage inside of me about not being recognized or feeling good enough.
Then when I had to eventually close it, I felt like a total failure. When I started putting in the soul work I realized that all of those feelings came from rejection, emotional homelessness, and lack of self-expression.
Now the healed part of me sees it as a temporary blessing and privilege of a lifetime, it has allowed me to share my knowledge and expertise with fellow creators and birthed my current business and its offerings.
Now I speak from my dysfunctional perspective but I believe that all of us have parts of ourselves that need healing and, let me be clear, there is a lot of abuse and trauma that I endured as a child from the mouths and hands of adults that still baffle me to this day.
I am not here to blame anyone, I am here to explain it so that I can move ahead as a healed individual who is aware of the work that needs to be done for me to be a better person, a better entrepreneur, a better creator and a better business coach and while I am at it, give us something to think about.
Your self-expression can only be authentic if it passes the purity test, otherwise, it will be fueled by rage or other negative emotions that will end up in an obvious self-destruction.
Now you might ask, some people are super authentic in their wickedness? Right? NO! Those people are showing as a negative version of their authentic selves, as hurt children.
I believe that in order to create better societies and businesses for ourselves, we first have to be whole individuals; so as you are adulting and building the dream, I am pleading with you to heal the inner child in you and to invite that idealistic part of you as your companion in this treacherous thing called life.
If you are also on this journey, I want to leave with these prompts and activities to get you going:
Write a letter to your younger self and yourself now: share words of comfort, understanding, and encouragement with the child you once were and the adult you are now.
Create a self-compassion mantra: develop a positive and affirming habit of forgiving yourself and speaking kindly to yourself.
Build a safety toolbox: list activities or practices that make you feel safe and grounded, and invite your close-knit friends to assist you when needed.
Establish a boundaries blueprint: outline clear and healthy boundaries you want to set in various aspects of your life.
Practice gratitude daily: regularly write down aspects of your life that you are grateful for, I do this every morning during my prayer time.
Create a vision board for your healing: assemble images, feelings, and words that represent the future you envision, full of healing and growth even if it seems and sounds unrealistic.
Celebrate small and big wins: acknowledge and celebrate the progress, no matter how small or big (some of y’all never celebrate because you are constantly chasing a high) on your journey.
Build your life around forgiveness: develop a forgiveness habit to consciously release resentment and make space for healing.
Design a self-care routine:plan and schedule regular self-care activities throughout the month to prioritize your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
Start a healing & prayer journal: document your thoughts, reflections, and moments of growth throughout your healing journey.
Genuine acts of kindness: perform acts of kindness for yourself and others, cultivating a positive and healing environment.
Create a healing playlist: develop playlists tailored to various emotions, offering a range of musical support for different moments.
That is it, friends! If you need more support on your healing journey, please check out my 40-day soul cleanse here.
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