Chapter Text
"ALRIGHT co*ck SUCKERS HERES THE DEAL!" Blitzø just closed the door behind their newest client and slammed his fists down on the table in their meeting room, Moxxie grimaced at the distasteful comment. "We've got about 7 hours to kill this bitch and I already made a foolproof plan!" He pulled an expo marker from who knows where and started scribbling on a whiteboard in front of everyone.
"Ok so miss whateverhernamewas wants us to murder her ex." Blitzø rolled his eyes at that but continued, pointing to a doodle of the aforementioned ex. "He lives near the beach with some other guy and works at a gas station!" He clasped his hands together, waiting for some sort of snide gesture or remark, mainly from Moxxie. So far nothing.
Unfortunately Moxxie seemed oddly passive ever since they were kidnapped by the D.H.O.R.K.S, actually, more like ever since the train incident. An incident neither of them addressed since the kidnapping but that wasn't the point. The point was that Moxxie wasignoringhim and Blitzø didn't like it one bit.
"Alrighty here's the plan!" He flipped around and scribbled himself in front of an apartment building with Millie and Moxxie. "We knock on the door and say we're house cleaners, Satan knows these dicks probablyNeed one." Blitzø was met with more silence and he gave Moxxie a scrutinizing look, the subject of his gaze had a perfectly schooled poker face, not even breaking a sweat as he got closer. Blitzø's frown deepened when he was clearly in Moxxie's space and all he got was an eyebrow twitch.
If it weren't for the fact that he was taking the 'fun' out of 'making fun of Moxxie' he'd be impressed by the restraint. "Then what?" Millie asked nervously. "I'm glad you asked Mills!" Blitzø sent one last look to his stonefaced employee before continuing. "He let's us in and we shoot him, the roomate too if need be. Nice and simple with easy cleanup!" He inspected his nails and waiting for some sort of flaw with his plot to be called out. Still nothing.
"Sounds like a plan." Moxxie got up and left with Millie to get supplies for the mission. Blitzø just stared at the now empty seat. If this wasn't some form of torture he didn't know what it was. Moxxie wasn't mad, if he were mad Blitzø would know. Right?
Blitzø and M&M changed into their disguises and Loona opened the portal for them. Blitzø jumped through, dramatically stretched his limbs and waited for them to pop in a way that usually made Moxxie say something about it sounding 'uncouth'. Moxxie instead shot him a look but nothing more. Blitzø huffed and took to surveying their surroundings.
They were on a beach littered with people sunbathing and dozing off with big umbrellas and sunglasses, they barely noticed the very obvious demon's nestled in one of the only empty spaces between them all. This place waspackedwith people, the only thing telling Blitzø he was standing in sand was the feeling because he could barely see any with all the beach towels, coolers, and people surrounding them.
Moxxie made a startled sound when performing a similar analysis. Millie already began stepping around people as quietly as she could to get to the street, Moxxie following suit with the same attempt at stealth, even with the sun beating down on them and people pointing and staring.
Blitzø instead opted to walk normally, stepping on a towel or two, maybe a person here or there, potentially even a child. He left an army of displeased chatter behind him and gasps of disapproval and shock. Millie was biting her finger to keep from saying what he knew she was thinking and Moxxie face palmed. Blitzø grasped at the potential argument starter.
"You don't see me judging your piss poor attempt to sneak around a bunch of people in a crowded beach so DON'T judge me for thinking it's pointless." He crossed his arms and turned to face the opposite direction in mock offense. Moxxie didn't take the bait. "No, no it's fine, where did you say the target lived?" His tone dampened and felt almost condescendingly understanding. Blitzø grinded his teeth in annoyance.
"Follow me." He marched past the two demons towards one of the apartment buildings. Checking his pocket for the fake business card he drew up just before they left. "Ok this should be the right place". They were all standing in front of a dull apartment building, there was a distant argument that could be heard inside, someone had just tossed a vase out of one of one of the windows, a dog was barking loudly and some guy was hanging out of another window, clearly pass out drunk. The bricks holding the whole place together were one punch away from simply disintegrating and the door was hanging open, not even connected to one of the hinges.
Millie lead the way inside and Blitzø looked Moxxie up and down, pausing to let him in first. Moxxie gave an equally suspicious look but went inside. "What room did you say they were in?" Millie asked from up ahead. Blitzø reached for his back pocket, where he stored a paper with all the names, numbers and other sh*t the client thought they'd need. He felt for the paper but was met with nothing.
His eyes widened as he scoured his other pockets. "Shiit, yeah I left the info in my other pants, guess I forgot to grab it after changing, welp! Ya live ya learn right Mills?" He nonchalantly regained the lead. "What I do know is that he lives in this building, so all we have to do is f*ck around and find out which room's his!" Moxxie's expression went blank for a minute. Still clearly processing what Blitzø just said. "You. Did. WHAT?!" Millie looked exasperated.
Blitzø smiled knowing Moxxie finally broke. "Jeez Moxxie try and keep up, I said I lost the paper, next time pay attention instead of jerking off somewhere." He reveled in the annoyance painted across his white haired employee's face. "I wasnt- that doesn- you- don't say that!" Blitzø felt the command seep in and faltered for a moment, but quickly regained his composure and smirked. "Fine, fine! But there's nothing we can really do about it now. We're on a time limit so let's find the room NOW and-" he was about to make another innuendo about wanking off and sh*t but felt his jaw tighten and close a little too quick for comfort.
His mouth shut so fast it actually made a snapping sound and Moxxie, who had previously been looking at the floor, shot his head up to look at him. Blitzø turned around and marched to a set of stairs. "You guys look on this floor. I'm going upstairs to look on the second." He bolted up the steps before either of the M&M's could comment on the strange interaction.
Blitzø didn't stop until he reaching the second floor sign where he stopped to catch his breath. A small relief. He groaned loudly and kicked the wall, the place was so poorly built he actually dented it. Either that or he was more angry than he thought. Blitzø pushed open the door to the second floor and knocked on every other door. Taking one look at the people who answered the door and moving on.
Blitzø didn't get why Moxxie was so upset with him. He hoped they would be on better terms after the whole D.H.O.R.K.S thing but it felt like ever since then Moxxie was more nervous around him. What did he do? Blitzø was racking his brain going through everything he did that day. He stopped when he finally remembered. 'What you said, earlier. About metelling you to stay put, what did you mean by that?'Blitzø pushed his palms into his eyes and groaned again. Moxxie probably thought he had to walk on eggshells around him after their talk. That had to be it.
It was infuriating to think about, what could he even say to defuse the situation? 'Yeah, about what I said earlier, would you mind just forgetting it ever happened? Better yet, forget that whole day if you can!'Blitzø grimaced at the thought alone.
"He wasn't downstairs, Millie's checking upstairs so I thought I'd see how it's looking up here." Moxxie ran up to him. Blitzø barely managed to hide his salty scowl. "Nothing so far, but I have it handled." He made it as clear as he could that he wanted to be alone. Moxxie didnt seem to be taking any hints at all today. Because he then glanced in Blitzø's direction with what appeared to be sympathy.
"What?" He spat. Moxxie recoiled and cleared his throat. "Nothing I just- are you ok?" Blitzø's scowl became even harder to hide. "Why wouldn't I be?" He took a breath and tried to calm himself down. "You just seem a little... On edge." Blitzø was about to retort when his phone screamed, signaling a message from Millie. He pulled it out and looked the text over.
"Millie found the apartment. No one answered but she found a picture of him inside or something." Moxxie sighed and they turned around to find the stairs again. The walk was quiet but by the time they reached them Blitzø had regained his composure yet again and found his obvious disdain stupid. Why was he making it so easy for Moxxie to reaffirm his whole 'walking on eggshells' thing?
"Bet I could beat you up the stairs." Blitzø shoved Moxxie aside and bolted up the stairs to floor 3, he then leaned on the door waiting for moxxie to make it up. "Damn Mox you're slow as f*ck, maybe Loona was right about that cardio thing." Moxxie's initially nervous expression disapeared. "I. AM. NOT. FAT!" Blitzø pulled the door open and smiled at his successful subject change.
Once they reached the door Millie left wide open for them Blitzø marched on in like he owned the place. Moxxie covered his nose when he caught wind of the very pungent smell of drugs and somehow, sadness. Blitzø didn't seem to mind though. Millie came into view holding a picture frame with the client and their target in it. "Hah you think this is a recent breakup or he's just obsessed?" Moxxie rolled his eyes. "Obsessed I think." Millie said "He probably hasn't cleaned this place since he moved in." Moxxie felt his shoulders sag, this apartment was probably crawling with bugs and mold and dust. Millie came over and rubbed circles on his back reassuringly.
A loud thunk sounded from a room to his right. Millie mouthed 'roomate'. Blitzø reached for the door and Moxxie grabbed his wrist to stop him, but he pulled away and Moxxie was promptly ignored. He slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open. What awaited them was more than Moxxie expected.
Sitting on the bed was just some guy. He had dirty blonde hair and baggy clothed on. An entirely average dude, what threw Moxxie for a loop was all the magical, worshippy stuff everywhere. There was a pentagram drawn out on the coffee table, strange symbols all over the walls, and the guy was literally meditating or something on the bed.
"Oooooommm, oooooooommmm, oooooo-" "woah." Blitzø interrupted. "Oh hey man." The guy opened his eyes and leaned forward. "What can I do for you little dudes?" Moxxie furrowed his brow in confusion. "Oh yeah, the names Tyler." Millie smiled nervously "that's... nice." Blitzø shook his head "where's your douchebag of a roomate?"
Tyler got up from the bed and smiled. "I can tell from your aura you ain't here for a good time, how about you sit with me and we can sooth all that negative energyyyy." He took a long breath but coughed from the smell wafting around. Blitzø scowled "myaura?Yeah no thanks. Now tell us where your roomate ran off to and we'll be out of your hairdude."
Tyler flipped said hair and seemed to be lost in thought. "How about this, you three little demon bros let me look into your future, yknow test my totally legitimate skills I got from a guy with an eyepatch in the back of a denny's and I'll tell you where Miachel went."Miachel.That's the target's name.
Moxxie pinched the bridge of his nose (?) And sighed. Millie looked at Tyler in disbelief. "Yeah, no not happening, tell us where he is or I'll shoot your brains out!" Blitzø pulled out his revolver and pointed it in Tyler's face. He needed a minute to register that there was a gun mere inches from his nose, but when he did he nodded in a content sort of way.
"If it's my time to go, I'll take it." He spread his arms out and Moxxie watched as Blitzø deflated. "Seriously? Oh my Satan just tell us where your buddy is and you can keep doing... whatever this sh*t is." Tyler sat back down on the bed and picked at his teeth. "I gave you my terms demon dude." Blitzø looked more annoyed than anything and Moxxie thought he looked like he was one more comment away from going batsh*t crazy. So he took over.
"It's just some fortune telling thing. It'll be quick right? We're kind of on a time limit." Blitzø sputtered but Tyler nodded and Moxxie stepped forward. "So what do we do?" He laughed nervously. Tyler held his hand out. "A fortune's gonna cost you a 5." This time it was Moxxie's turn to deflate. "Wa-wait you mean I have to PAY?" He nodded. Blitzø let out a frustrated growl but shoved a five dollar bill in the guy's hand. Moxxie would lecture him on stealing their dead targets' money later.
Tyler inspected the bill, once he was content he shoved it in his pocket and patted the spot across from him on the bed. The guy yanked his hand aggressively. He inspected every part of it, humming when he was done. "So you've got a wifey waiting at home huh?" Moxxie blushed and millie bristled. "Actually-" Tyler held his hand up. "No interrupting." He pulled out a deck of cards and had moxxie choose one, blew some kind of dust in his face, and inspected his hand again before finally giving Moxxie space.
"YOU. My guy, are about to come across a CRAZYYY secret pretty soon. You're gonna be like 'woah'. Trust me man you don't wanna miss it." Moxxie cringed at the wordplay. "What's the secret?" Tyler put his hands behind his head. "If I told you then it wouldn't be a secret little man." He glared and got up from the bed. "Ok NOW can you tell us where your roomate is?!" Blitzø said, it was more of a command than a question.
"I said all of you. Not just the goat legged dude." Tyler said calmly. Blitzø pulled down his eyelids and Moxxie growled at the goat comparison. Millie sat on the bed before things could get violent though. Tyler yet again held out his hand. "You can't be serious." Blitzø pulled out yet another 5 dollar bill and grumbled about this being a sh*tty scam.
He used the same methods on Millie and gave her a similarly vague fortune "Youre gonna be crushed. Like crushedman." She laughed a little. "Physically or emotionally?" He just stared, like she was stupid. "Nevermind." She hopped off and gestured that it was Blitzø's turn. He tossed a wadded up 5 in Tyler's direction and hopped on the bed, clearly disinterested.
Tyler inspected the dollar again and then took the hand Blitzø offered. He barely got through the first reading before abruptly stopping. "Woaaahhhh!" Blitzø, who was originally hunched and holding his chin with his free hand, sat up, the exclamation clearly startled him. "What?!! What is it??!!!" Tyler stared wide eyed at him. "The lady who cursed you must've been reeeeal mad".
Moxxie scoffed and folded his arms, cursed? Blitzø? Right. but Blitzø seemed to get more riled up. "What do you mean?!!" Tyler took his hand again. "Jeez dude, how long have you been living like this? This is cray cray, serious bad vibes. No wonder your aura's so strained." Moxxie could barely understand what this guy was talking about but Blitzø almost looked relieved.
"What do ya meancursed?"Millie questioned. It looked like Blitzø had just realized they were even there. "NO INTERUPT- ooooooh yeah right, I'm s'posed to be reading your FUTURE." Blitzø seemed like he wanted to say something, but after making accidental eye contact with Moxxie, he kept his mouth shut for the rest of the reading.
He was told his future and it had something to do with reading? Moxxie was preoccupied analyzing Blitzø's expression. He'd never seen such a nervous, sincere look coming from his boss of all places.
Tyler told them Miachel was working at his job. The gas station. The job they would have remembered if Blitzø hadnt forgotten his information slip from their client. But noooo they had to waste 15 minutes with this kook. Millie looked just as relieved as he was to be leaving. But once they reached the door Blitzø dragged behind.
"I'll catch up with you two in a minute, I'm gonna get back all that money you got me scammed out of." Moxxie nodded and he and Millie rushed down the stairs to find that gas station. She was going over a plan to hot wire a car in order to get there faster. Moxxie was only half paying attention but his mind was somewhere else entirely. He couldn't help but think Blitzø waslying.
Blitzø watched Millie and Moxxie until they were completely out of sight. Then he let his smile drop and slammed open the door to Tyler's room. He grabbed his collar and shoved him into the wall, catching the guy off guard. Blitzø pulled out a knife and held it against Tyler's neck, barely getting his words out as more than a desperate snarl. "Youre going to tell me who did this, who cursed me, you're going to tell me who sheis."
